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This Illusive World

by Butterfly Convict

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1.
I run through yellows fields, consumed by bloody shields. My heart was dieing to be here but now my path is clear. I don’t wanna say that’s true, cuz it can’t be. I just need a little truth. I run through yellow fields. I’m convinced I close my eyes to see. Color the sky.
2.
Mirages 04:29
I never thought I'd see the day where my mind would be my own asylum blowing my cover and dropping my guard. This discipline fosters a name today, and it's wrapped with a ribbon for display. How can you say that it's better this way? Where are we? How did we get here? What is this place? Manifestations of my greatest fears. Oh, I've fallen for every word you fed to me with malicious intent. You've dragged me here in fear. I don't believe what I'm seeing here. These visions must be from the heat. Maybe I'm caught in a dream. Don't let me sleep. They say that every man is an island, so this must be my life. Well I hoped & I hoped that you'd give me the outlines and I'd fill them in. But I'm paralyzed by fear. I hope & I pray that you'll save me the trouble of building this place, Because I can't control my mind. Where are we? How did we get here? What is this place? Manifestations of my greatest fears. Awaken me, take me from here. This is your home, and justly it's anything I could have dreamed. They say that every man is an island, so this must be my life. While dreaming, I could say that I'm living but this just isn't real. I run through yellow fields.
3.
Endless dynamic of failing sympathy falls on your false heart failing to concede. Preconditioned to believe this inconstancy; the sky turns & I burn uncontrollable red. Soothing a charred heart too insure the recovering body grows stronger, While the tendons heal from those blatant raw incisions to your brain. Shelter from the rain or a tragic distortion of surges will come your way. Whispers of your disconcern. Columns crumbling within with the walls closing in. Extract from this vial this aching desire and the comatose air. Locked from desire, this Autumn conspires cure with several doses. I've been left in the dust with more than a score to settle. I've been lost for no cause and no one to hold a candle to. Walls close in on this victim-less jurisdiction. Whispers of your disconcern. Columns crumbling within with the walls closing in. Columns crumbling within; tear down the walls. There's tendency in your morality to leave me here for good. Now your heart is cold & I partially know because it froze my emotion. No decency in this rivalry, no one showing mercy. While you're on your throne your actions show your lack of devotion. I'll color the sky.
4.
Cold air, come here; calm my hands. I've thought up a plot they don't quite understand. I'd love to help if I could relieve your instincts, Oh, they've got you good. This illusive world has consumed your reality, Found along the falls & endless forest. Oh, the ocean's bold. I know there's more beyond the seas, beneath breeze. Let me breathe & let me see the world. Who are you to tell me not to? Why must you withstand my words when all I do is care? I can't leave you here, Join me in the journey, starting new. You won't leave this place. I know it's all you know, but don't let it blind you. So persistent for resistance, it's our next of settled differences in these trees of seasoned love. Through the distance, in an instant we could find anything you'd ever dream if you'd only open up your mind. Let me breathe & let me see the world. Who are you to tell me not to? Why must you withstand my words? It's for your good, I swear, I can't leave you here, Join me in the journey, starting new. You won't leave this place. I know it's all you know, but don't let it blind you from the truth. This is much more than a warning, but much less than a threat. If you don't know this by the morning your sun will set alone & helpless, longing for distance. You'll be the god of your own sick world. I can't leave you here but you won't leave this. I can't leave you here but you won't leave this world. Well I can't say that I can't say that I cannot save you. Well I can't say that I cannot save your world.
5.
Jagged Earth 03:18
Set the mood and do this right, thrust your temper. Let go of the things you think, trust your instincts. Fill the void that holds your life from desire, Have your blood immerse your soul, be that animal. Wind it up. Never cage that beast inside you. Let that thing feed. While the world is jagged, go hunt your prey, And I’ll dig holes so to hold control of my grave. Yeah, we have the same heart. In the light, your morals you will betray. Frame by frame I saw the ways in which you've changed. Let's start anew so dreams can be pursued, despite the circumstances. But still I hear the buzzing in my brain like a boulder pressed against my breast. I'm pinned down to the sound of your cries and your wise decisions tieing pity to a tree. Restrained at bay, and held to pay, the tigers of your honesty unfold. Oh, the virus. Here's what I think... It's two tongue truth. Breaking the tradition of your family won't be so bad. Oh, you'll sing to me and dance with every limb you own, your body won't control you. You'll be a ghost inside your skin. You'll be the priest that clears your sins. Make your way to your destination. Gotta let your feet decide. While the world is jagged, go hunt your prey, And I’ll dig holes so to hold control of my grave. Yeah, we have the same heart. In the light, your morals you will betray. Frame by frame I saw the ways in which you've changed, you've let me down. I've got hope, for I've gotta hope for you. Dig down, dig down, dig deep inside yourself and scream.
6.
Let’s light this and leave you here. Walked over harsh ground for this. Are you with me? If not, you’re against me and I don’t hold back anymore. Are you listening? It wouldn’t surprise me if I had spoke and you ignored. The visions failed to incorporate how it seems that you’re not ashamed of this. How sick of you, how sick of me. But in this dream, I’m the architect & you live in the space I’ve made, it’s true. I’m sick of you, I’m sick of me. In my thoughts, or in my dreams, I’ve found you no part of me. The visions failed to incorporate how it seems that you’re not ashamed of this. How sick of you, how sick of me. But in this dream, I’m the architect & you live in the space I’ve made, it’s true. I’m sick of you, I’m sick of me. Whispers of your disconcern. Hold me back from you, I’ve lost sight of it all. Hold me back from the truth, lieing toward other goals. Hold me back from you, I’ve lost all my control.
7.
A cloud of wasted breath brightens up the view. The moon glows blue as the tides keep crashing. The fog refracts the beams of lunar rays that shine. To the naked eye, it is only night. I feel you in the eclipsing moon. I feel you in the tides against my feet. What a dream, please let me sleep. I've been asked to say what I feel about your leave. Well, it's bittersweet but I guess it's best this way. You're in a better place and though it's far, I know you're so much better off. This is good for you and that makes me happy. I feel you in the glowing stars above. I feel you in the waves trying to be a part of this dream.
8.
The world, it's sent you to the corners of existence. They were so defenseless but it didn't trigger your sympathy. My instincts told me your motives were fake but I'm wasting my time with this hindsight. I'm losing myself in these memories. Deep in my dreams, I'm dieing. My yellow field’s gone black with ashes. But I'm back from the past so I'll color the sky And take my time cuz this is my fairytale now. So I won't condemn you, you've got to leave this to me. Curse the new fixation where it's getting hard to control myself. I can see stars where I thought I'd see mountains, There's so much of this world we've yet to see. I'm losing myself in this fantasy. Astonishing, you never really fail to amaze me. Regrettably, I never got to give you a piece of my mind. Looking back, I never should've looked in the first place. But we'll meet again for time goes two ways. I've got to erupt with this confidence, it's all I have. But at last we are parting ways, and I'm closing the book on you. This time it's a different feeling because we'd been caught in the motions. I'm losing myself in my promises. I'm self-medicated, premeditated but I crack under pressure when I start thinking of you. I can't say I hate it, but I'm devastated, I still crack under pressure when I see blue in the sky. I'll be elated when I've finally made it so the pressure means nothing and I can finally breathe. I'm convinced you're holding out on me. The sky's gone black to match the world. I'm leaving this all behind now. Amidst all the memories & bitter feelings Oh, the tides keep crashing...and so will I. But I can't let you go. I'm self-medicated, premeditated but I crack under pressure when I start thinking of you. I can't say I hate it, but I'm devastated, I still crack under pressure when I see blue in the sky. I'll be elated when I've finally made it so the pressure means nothing and I can finally breathe. I'll never say it, but I fucking hate it. It's about time to bury this dieing dream. And I will let you go. I am letting go.

credits

released May 2, 2012

Recorded with Steve Kupillas at Rogue Studios

Additional recording done by Scott Byrne at Island Music Lab

Mixed by Scott Byrne at Island Music Lab

*Uncontrollable Red was mixed by Steve Kupillas at Rogue Studios

Mastered by Rob Mueller

All music written by Jason Figueredo, Christopher Mackin, Daniel Mueller, Benjamin Ross, Ethan Smestad

Artwork by Amanda Glickman

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Butterfly Convict Merrick, New York

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